Author of “Two Lives to a Destiny”
Edited by Vaughn Harbin.
Flashback
What has really happened in Part One?
Well, I began playing piano at the age of thirty, and although a very promising pianist at first, this house of cards fell apart due to an old medical condition after my very first piano recital. This will be explained here in Part Two. Keep an open mind, because what you really want to hold on to from Part One is, I had already composed my very first sonata called, “The Dream”.
Part Two
After my piano recital in 1994, not only was I unable to get my act back together while playing piano, especially remembering beats and time signatures, but my mind, itself, was acting very differently. This became quite evident the day I walked into my apartment, and immediately walked anxiously back out to my car because I did not recognize anything in my house. I really thought I had just walked into someone else’s home. It was only when I got back into my car that I realized what had happened. I said something to myself like, Hey buddy! Where are you going? This is home! The next step was, obviously, to see a doctor.
To identify what was wrong with me, doctors had to take a trip down memory lane with me. Now, please be aware that the use of the word “wrong” in the previous sentence simply illustrates what is or might be considered wrong in a “normal” way humans perceive right and wrong. As you read on, you’ll realize that, although I was a little different, there was nothing wrong with me. And so, this defines mental illness in a very different way. Life might have taken something away from me, but there was something developing within that was much greater than what I was.
Back in 1968 or was it 1969? Be careful, memory just loves to fill in the blanks (grinning). Nevertheless, I was riding my new bicycle and of course, in those days, it wasn’t a fancy bike. It was red, equipped with a single gear, and it was fast. Like every little boy, I had a need for speed and this bicycle filled that fantasy perfectly.
One sunny summer afternoon, a bunch of friends and I were riding our bikes in our shared backyard. The game was cops and robbers and the cops had to chase the robbers and catch them. Since I was the cop, I was chasing my friends as fast as I could pedal my bicycle. During the chase, there came a time where I was really close to catching one of the robbers, pedaling full speed ahead of course. Suddenly my friend slowed down and turned right, passing underneath a large black metal staircase used to access the second-floor apartments from our backyard. As I caught up to him, I could literally touch his rear fender while approaching the space between the building wall and the staircase. The next few seconds were indeed extremely critical. That’s when I suddenly blacked out, my friend rode his bike out from underneath the staircase, and my bike also came out from underneath the staircase, but I was no longer riding it. The next thing I remember is waking up in the hospital, paralyzed from my neck down to my feet.
As dramatic as this was, and not in a good way, the doctors had concluded that I’d be paralyzed for the rest of my life. But much to their surprise, one morning, ten days later, I woke up and felt the need to go to the bathroom, got out of my hospital bed and walked there unaided. I came out of the bathroom, picked up my puppet that I wanted to play with so badly, a talking Bugs Bunny rabbit, and walked down the hospital hallway.
Everyone was looking at me as if I were a superstar, very much in disbelief! I only wanted to see my mom.
I was treated for PTA (Post Traumatic Amnesia) and came out of the hospital with what they called TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury). But here is what’s incredibly fascinating, I would have no signs of this trauma until I rendered a performance in my very first piano recital, years later. This wasn’t my last one either, and believe me, my second concert performance was much worse than the first one. In 2018, I really thought I could beat this, and I still do.
In the summer of 1994, my doctor called my performance on stage a traumatic event that brought life back to an old wound. Much like getting a blow on the head with a staircase without the paralysis. Going forward, my life would change forever due to long term memory loss, a speech impediment, cognitive effects, behavioral effects, fatigue and anger.
This was the new me, as stated at the end of Part One, “The Renaissance”. This was also the name I gave the concert in Toronto when the Kitchener/Waterloo Chamber Orchestra played my very first symphony in 2017 at the St. Lawrence for the Arts Theatre. It is called “The Symphony of Reliquiae. Reliquiae as in “Survivor”.
https://www.keyclefproduction.com/renaissance
Although this seems very dramatic, sad and extremely challenging, it’s not. At this stage of your life you do have a choice; you can cry yourself a river or you can decide to use this energy in a positive way and get used to the new you to make changes where changes are needed. There is one thing that is very certain, I will never, ever be able to be disorganized for the rest of my life. This is where computer science became a must in my life while pressure became enemy number one. In any situation, as the pressure increases within me, the mind capacity decreases until it shuts down completely, as happens in a stage performance. This is not limited to bad circumstances, you’re also under pressure when you’re happy. We enjoy that pressure because it makes us feel good, but it is nonetheless, still pressure.
Secondly, the aggravation of trying to be heard while trying to explain myself. Pressure will increase while trying to explain myself but due to having a speech impediment, this never goes very well, and anger is usually the end result. In my world, words are often misinterpreted because most of the time the one selected is not the best one to describe my concern. If words were numbers, they would make more sense because, let’s face it, when you see a one, it can only be a one.
Here’s something else to think about. Anyone who’s extremely tired or exhausted will probably have some of these symptoms too. The difference is, I have them all the time. But here’s the good news, and hold on to this thought…For whatever sense life takes away from you, it will grant you a gift. Think of how a blind man’s hearing often becomes more acute.
Until recently, I had hidden this aspect of myself for fear of being treated differently, but now that apprehension has disappeared. And in all fairness to myself, this is not a mental illness; it is the result of an accident.
“Where has all the passion gone”? In all honesty, I had to resolve a few issues before getting back to a passion that fate drew a path to, and which I embrace willingly as if it were my destiny.
Pre-Save Two Lives to a Destiny Original Novel Soundtrack
Look for “Part Three” to find out what happened in 1996, and how fate expressed itself. And, keep in mind that I would eventually create a musical, though my true ventures as a music composer began in 2003.
In case you missed it:
The Creation of a Musical Part I
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